D.P.S. Brandy Bloodletting
Somewhere in the Caribbean
July 9, 2009
Juice Corporation
156 Broadstreet
London, England
Ahoy, ye Scallywags of Juice Production:
This be Captain Blue Hair of the Dread Pirate Ship Brandy Bloodletting. I be writin' to ye landlubbers to let ye know that a black spot be put upon yer juice makin' company because o'yer product Arrrr-ange Juice. Avast, it contains no real juice and no rum! Even the worst of our hearty-laddies can tell yer grog be nothin' put chemically processed sugar water. Arrrr! Me laddies all be scurvy knaves from a hearty lack of vit'min C. Perchance, ye can explain to me Maties how they be strong enough to attack them corporate dog-ships without a proper and nutritious mornin' repast.
Ye hoardings need to change yer ways as First Mate Decayin' Drake has been mutterin' somethin' about havin' ye Landlubbers walk the plank! Arrr!
Lily-livered though ye be, please respond by post,
Capt. Blue Hair
D.P.S. Brandy Bloodletting
P.S. First Mate Drake requests to know what type o'peg leg ye require after yer plank walkin' and adds a hearty "Arrrrr!"
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